Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
