I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
