I'm really into asian looking animals
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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