didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
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If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
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Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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