Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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