He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Randomize
