You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
