omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Panties = found
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
