I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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