I'd wear matching sweaters with you
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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