I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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