We're facebook friends in real life
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
