he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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