hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
