I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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