best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
