I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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