my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Randomize
