does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
