I'm really into asian looking animals
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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