Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize