woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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