you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize