my mouth tastes like poor choices
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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