the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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