My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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