I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
