we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
