I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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