Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
