now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
