Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
