when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
