Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
