She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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