dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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