I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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