Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
