It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
