Non-Jews are for practice
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
