Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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