escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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