No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
only you would photoshop your dick
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
