Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
