tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Terrible idea I love it
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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