look no pants
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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