You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
