Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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