I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
