i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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