that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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