where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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