Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
