Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
