I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize