Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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