apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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