There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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