we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
