The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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